woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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