did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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