Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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