I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
