I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
whose ass print is on the piano?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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