Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i came on her dog
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
