hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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