Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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