I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
