I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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