Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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