It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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