Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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