Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
