you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize