those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
