Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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