even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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