The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
