I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize