Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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