I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i love accidental penises.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
