i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what day is it and did you see me today?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
