it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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