So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Life is so much better after having sex.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
