you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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