Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
