I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize