It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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