last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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