I could make wine with my vomit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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