sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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