cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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