i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
