Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
