Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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