I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
