I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
