loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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