I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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