After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
