So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
