if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
dude. I can hear the air.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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