So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
