In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize