where am i from again
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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