i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
