No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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