I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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