i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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