But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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