I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
