there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
