Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
that's an acceptable place to lick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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