The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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