I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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