i wish my penis had a tongue
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
