I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
