U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
