have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
