oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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