you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
