Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
